You may feel like you’re doing your bit to bring about world peace but we all know your wedding isn’t about what you want, it’s about whether your extended families (and a few extra uncles) think it’s been done correctly; if not you could be the catalyst for WWIII!
So the challenge is to organise a wedding that will please and fulfill your needs as well as the requirements of both your families. It could be a potential minefield, but with some delicate negotiation and the right strategies, you should be able to avoid calamity.
Beginnings…
Before you even start thinking about themes, venues and decorations, you need to sit down with your fiancé and have a frank discussion about what you both would like at your wedding. Use this as an opportunity to discuss the ceremony and traditions that you will need to include, so that you don’t offend either set of parents.
Once you have an idea of what your day might look like, speak to the parents who’ll be the most offended if you don’t include a specific tradition. Ask them about their expectations and what must be included. Be sure to write everything down so you don’t leave out important details when it all starts getting hectic!
Location, location, location!
Choose a venue in a neutral place that’s easily accessible to all. If your reception is in a hotel, ensure your friends and family are told early on so they can book rooms in advance, especially if they’re travelling from far and wide.
Picky eaters
When it comes to the menu make sure you have plenty of options. If your potential in-laws don’t eat spicy food make sure there’s food available to suit their pallet, or you may wish to have mild menu and by offering a variety of condiments, your guests can spice things up to the heat they prefer. A buffet can be ideal, but make sure everything is labelled in English or your European guests could be baffled by the achaar!
Pater familias
Getting the families together can be the biggest headache but with a little thought you can have a real celebration! Think carefully about the seating plan to make sure everyone mingles and you don’t end up with a standoff between the two encampments. Think about generational and career similarities and that way everyone will have something to start a conversation with.
Capitulation
If you can’t reach a compromise and eloping to Vegas isn’t an option, get the best of both worlds with a double wedding. Admittedly, one wedding is expensive and stressful enough, but if it’ll make your life easier and everyone happier it might just be worth it!
Have one formal wedding that includes the ceremony and invites only immediate family and close friends; the other can be the celebratory party. Find a laid back venue for your friends and extended family to mingle and actually enjoy themselves.
At the second wedding, why not display pictures of the ceremony and ask them to sign a guest book, so that the guests who perhaps didn’t attend the first wedding can still feel involved.
Why not opt for a different menu? If you had an Indian menu at the first wedding, why not have something completely different. Indian weddings always have very similar menus; why not explore the vast range of sub-continental flavours?
With well thought out strategies and careful preparation, your wedding will be a fusion wedding to remember.
